“ I love you; you love me; we're a happy family ….”

Do you remember that song from childhood? You may even recognize it as the popular song Barney sings. Through music we explore and learn about myths, ideals, and the parameters of love.

With each year, our understanding of what we hear and feel in music deepens, especially as we begin to experience love. We hear thoughts similar to ours being sung on the radio. We listen with curiosity and hope of happy endings or perhaps guidance to help us. We learn that music intensifies our feelings, triggers emotions, and binds memories forever to songs that are associated with our love lives. We learn that music is our friend and our teacher. Because of this, music has attained a central importance in the world of romance and romantic relationships.

Music can inspire or influence romance in so many ways. It's hard for music not to inspire; it stirs the emotions when singers sing about love's emotiona l extremes. When you hear a song that says, “I'm in the mood for love simply because you're near me,” it's hard to resist having an emotional reaction to what you hear. Music facilitates romance between you and your partner by
moving both the intellect and emotions.

Now that you know how music can naturally foster romance, the following tips will help you to use music in your own relationship to increase romance between you and your partner:

• If you are out and about doing something with your partner and you hear your partner say, “Wow, I love that song,” don't just let the moment pass. Find out what the song is and buy it. Add it to your romantic collection.
• If you attend a Broadway show or a romantic film that moves you emotionally, buy the soundtrack. This way, you'll be able to bring back the intense emotions.
• You experienced again and again with your partner.
• Jump at the chance to dance together when music moves you.

Going to concerts—especially by singers well known for romantic ballads— can put you in the middle of emotional moments that are bigger than life.

Contributed by: By Nancy Fagan-Murphy M.S. ©2000
www.thedivorcehelpclinic.com 11622 el camino real, suite 100 san diego, ca 92130 (in carmel valley) nancymurphy1@mac.com (858) 764-2545

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