Why  was it who first said that "thin is acceptable, fat is not"? No doubt some camp, pot-bellied fashion designer or advertising guru who has helped to fuel insecurity and self-abuse by propagating the idea that in order to be successful and loved, you have to look undernourished.

Forget Jodie Kidd, "Sue Perwaif", "Ann Orexia" and all those other 10-foot tall, 10 inch wide supermodels. Forget fashion spreads in magazines featuring chisel-cheeked waifs who wouldn't look out of place in colony of stick insects. Forget dieting, body wraps, pills, lotions and gruelling exercise programmes. Why? Because there really are a lot of decent, attractive and successful men out there who prefer larger women - even those who don't care to admit it.

The reason why so many women still believe that men desire emaciated women is because they have been brainwashed by the media into believing that this is the shape they're supposed to find appealing. They play along with this ideal because of its apparent status value. Some men superficially believe that being seen with someone who represents the current images spread across the glossies will automatically elevate them to super stud ranking. Nevertheless, deep down, most of them would prefer to snuggle up to a curvy, feminine woman. 

David, 33, an Art Director from London agrees; "To say that only women who are a size 10 or less are beautiful is a fallacy. I don't find women who are too thin at all sexy. There's something strangely unnatural about men who prefer women with boy-like physiques. To me, there's nothing more beautiful than a woman with ample curves. Who wants to cuddle up to a skeleton at night? I dated one girl who was totally obsessive about her weight, despite my reassurances that she looked far better with a 'bit of meat' on her. The relationship didn't last because she was always too busy worrying about how she looked and ended up spending more time in front of the mirror than she did with me!"

American Psychologist, Catrin Griffiths says, "We live in a society obsessed by control, thinness and youth. Fatness is therefore regarded as a loss of control and ultimate failure, particularly since men who are status-driven feel the need to parade a partner who fits the current ideal. Subconsciously, however, men are naturally drawn towards women with rounded hips, which is a sign of their ability to carry and nurture their offspring. The paradox is that today's women are striving for independence and strength and yet the emaciated body type signifies frailty, defencelessness and a need to be cared for."

If a woman is naturally petite and has not "forced" her shape and size, then that is fine and she undoubtedly looks her best when she is a size 8 or 10. However, what looks unnatural is a tall woman, who would naturally be a size 16, diets obsessionally and ends up looking unhealthily emaciated, with bones sticking out from every angle. Take Gerri Halliwell as an example. When she first left the Spice Girls and removed the heavy makeup, she was the epitome of a beautiful woman, not least because she was still sporting feminine curves. However, since embarking on a gruelling exercise, diet and tanning regime, she has assumed the appearance of a sinewy, overcooked chicken.

Michael, 28, a web designer from Edinburgh had this to say; "If thin and shapeless is desirable, then why do so many women opt for breast enlargement? Yes, because most men prefer shapely women, yet what a lot of these women fail to grasp is that large breasts do not naturally fit a thin body. If a large bust is considered attractive, doesn't it follow that larger proportions overall are appealing?"

"There's nothing attractive about a chest that so obviously looks false," says Darren, 28, a procurement manager from Swindon. "Any bloke who finds breast implants attractive, would be better off nestling up to a lump of silicone at night, because that's all he's in love with, not the woman herself. Besides, abnormally spherical silicone breasts attached to the front of a matchstick physique look odd. Being a woman is not just about having breasts, it means being blessed with the well-rounded, childbearing buttocks that men find so attractive and possessing all those other little quirks and personality traits that make a woman what she is.

As Rob, 38, a Royal Air Force pilot points out, "There's nothing more off-putting than taking a woman out to a nice restaurant and then watching her pick at her food all night, especially when I want to tuck into my food without feeling guilty about the fact that I actually enjoy eating. Generally, if a woman enjoys her food, it's a sign that she has a good appetite for other things!"

Women were never designed to have figures like adolescent boys, donning androgynous attire, making statements about equality and indirectly expressing the fear of being labelled 'feminine'. If women were designed to look like men, Mother Nature would have made the human race hermaphrodites who reproduced asexually.

Top marks go to larger than average celebrities, such as Nigella Lawson and Dawn French for example, who are comfortable with their size and who refuse conform to, what the media regard as, the ideal shape or, more accurately, non-shape. Both Nigella Lawson and Dawn French are voluptuous, outgoing, funny and amazingly beautiful women. And their confidence with their body image is what makes them both incredibly sexy.

James, 28, a Software Engineer from Reading says, "I'm not saying that big women aren't concerned about their appearance, but they are not totally consumed like a lot of model look-a-likes are. Larger women focus more on their personalities and emanate a quality that says, 'Hey, I'm fun to be with, I know how to enjoy life', as opposed to their thin counterparts who are often afraid to let themselves go in case they put a hair out of place. There's something so unbelievably sexy about a voluptuous woman with a larger than life personality. Given the choice of Kate Moss or Kate Winslett, I'd choose Kate Winslett any day."

Besides, what woman in their right mind would want to be involved with someone as superficial as the fat-prejudiced guy who said, "You can't walk a personality down the street"? How could you possibly feel secure in a relationship that revolved totally around your body image? And of course, you can walk a personality down the street. People with a personality exude an aura without having to open their mouths and without being 3 inches wide. The guy who disputes that probably has less personality than a stuffed rat.

I believe that the real message here is to learn to accept your body the way that it is and not to go against the shape that Mother Nature intended. After all, whatever your shape and size, everyone has the potential to be attractive and desirable.



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Updated November 2016



 

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