Friends And Relationships - Heterosexual And Lesbian:
Bird In Hand

Your answers to people's problems make interesting reading and seem quite sensible. You will probably think that my question is not so sensible, though. But it is my problem, so here goes.

I am 63 years old. I have met a 32-year-old lesbian. I am heterosexual. She is lovely, and we get on so well. She says she loves me. I know I love her. We haven't dated beyond having dinner at a restaurant a couple of times. Should I take a step to encourage her, or just give up?

I take rejection personally. If she rejects me, we might not be friends anymore, and I will lose a "love of my life." - Andrew

Andrew, often when friends are of the opposite sex, one party wants to make the relationship more than friendship.

It's a little like the song "Love the One You're With." It would be inconceivable for you to go trolling for a date in a lesbian bar, but because this woman is your friend and you have a relationship, it's conceivable that you could want more. She's here, I want someone, why can't I love the one I'm with? Your feelings aren't at all unusual, but she has a different orientation.

If you are truly friends, you will know whether or not you should say something. As with any friendship, you don't say or do anything to hurt a friend. That's a measure of your love for her. - Wayne & Tamara

Relationships - Help And Advice - Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com. - Friends And Relationships - Heterosexual And Lesbian - Bird In Hand

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