Living with Cats and Dogs in the Bedroom:
Cats and Dogs

I recently moved in with a man. We were friends for three years, then we fell in love. We now live together and have two cats. He is the love of my life: wonderful, kind, and caring. He is truly my best friend.

The cats are his babies. I love cats, too, but have one problem. The problem is in the bedroom. These cats run the house, climb on the counter tops, and lay on the kitchen table. I can live with that, but he thinks they should always be allowed in the bedroom and the door should not be closed "because they like to lie on the bed."

I have put up with cats staring at me, crawling on me, and going under the covers to play with my feet during intimacy. Finally, the other day I got up, put them out, and closed the door. I said, "I can't concentrate!"

He thought this was terrible, and I was being mean. I know he was upset, and as soon as we finished lovemaking, he got up and let them back in. We don't have children. Do you think this may cause problems for us in the future? I intend to keep putting them out and closing the door. - Amber

Amber, Jon Katz wrote a book called "The New Work of Dogs." His name is Katz and his field is dogs, but what he says applies to cats as well: companion animals tend to our emotional needs. We seek beings to love and to love us. Not surprisingly, when television usage exploded in America, the number of companion animals also exploded.

Jon Katz mentions a lonely woman who got a dog at Christmas, reasoning if she couldn't find a good man, at least she could find a good dog. Perhaps your boyfriend was like that. At one time the cats were his only reliable companions, and he deferred to them.
Now he has you. It's time to discuss the proper role of cats in his life. Jon's book is the kind of book you can read together in bed, with the door closed and the cats on the other side. - Wayne & Tamara

Relationships - Help And Advice - Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com. - My man thinks his cats should always be allowed in the bedroom

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