As there are always two sides to every argument and as the director of NewFriends4U, I felt it was time to post a response to free member’s email messages we receive occasionally together with comments we have seen on the Forum.

Naturally, we all view the world differently and sometimes it is only when seeing things from a different perspective does the reality change for some.

So here’s my view…

This statement has been made several times and greatly puzzles me…

"I’m not paying to read my messages!”

Perhaps the belief for some people is that if a service is found on the World Wide Web it is totally free to use and someone has just put it there purely for the visitors benefit to gain what they want. The reality is many people seem unaware that the ‘someone’ who has ‘put it there’ has spent a considerable amount of their time and money so many of us can benefit from the service and information provided.

Of course it isn’t as simple as that. Buying a domain name and launching a website to see what the search engines will do with it, simply does not work. The site will not be found by the very people everyone is seeking to meet in the first place.

The truth is... there has indeed been a considerable amount of work, time and money involved.  Continued development, administrative, management and hosting are just some of the costs incurred by the webmaster. Every website delivered in your search results browser has to generate funds to support it.   

The Customer Illusion
Advertising will cover their cost so why charge me to use it!
Users who are unfamiliar with the online business world would say, simple! Get your funds from advertising!  Unfortunately, as most web sites do not generate the vast amount of traffic/visitors of brand names/well known sites like Yahoo, Hotmail, MSN or Google etc., and so don't generate the vast amount of revenue, from advertising alone, as these big players do -- We've tried it and it doesn’t work!

No Website Traffic --- No Service:
Many people are unaware what is involved in getting on page one listings with search engines, considering there are literally thousands of other sites all competing for the same first page positions!  The truth is it is impossible without continual web site optimisation expertise.  Naturally, this cost also has to be covered by using an expert optimizer.

Another way websites can be listed quickly is by paid advertising on search engines, but every click is at a cost to the website owner/business and we're not talking a few pence/cents here but pounds and dollars for every visitor who has clicked.

Many sites use an affiliate program, for those of you who don't know what this involves; it simply means that the website owner pays people (the affiliate) to promote the site on their web pages or through paid search engine ads.  When a subscription is made by the member, approximately 50% of the subscription price goes to the affiliate, which then covers their time and expenditure.

Forum postings by inexperienced people:
From reading various dating website forums I'm quite amazed at the posting made by inexperienced people who are of the opinion that that web sites don't cost much money or time and therefore should be free for them to use and that dating/friendship sites are easy to create and are cheap to buy off the shelf. But what they don't realise is that you can't buy a cheap database with thousands of members off-the-shelf to make it work!! Not that I would buy a such a package in the first place as there are always limitations to such software. Creating a successful friendship business takes tons of time and a lot of hard work, it's a big financial investment and there are always ongoing expenses!! Perhaps, if those people posting such naive comments gained some experience in what's involved in making that site and service usable for them in the first place, put 'their money and time' into it, only then surely can it be possible to 'fully understand' what-is-involved? If they did, then from experience, such postings will be a thing of the past!

Traditional Ways Offline New Ways Online:
Walking into a high street shop or placing an ad in the local newspaper, some people have a completely different insight -- automatically they are reaching for their payment card because people clearly understand they won’t get the ad or goods for free.

Going online to pay their house and car insurance etc., it appears automatically accepted that they have to pay for the item or service --- We all know what the insurance company would say if they objected to paying simply because they are using an ‘online service’!  

So the question I struggle to understand is why then when it’s an online service made available to help people meet new friends, instead of just subscribing/contributing to gain communication and take advantage of the service provided, why do some free members prefer to send an email of complaint or attempt to post a complaint on our Forum about having to part with money, particularly when the service is clearly working for them. They are obviously getting results, people are responding to their free ad. We have parted with our money, worked hard to find these people for them to meet on their behalf in the first place, so why is the belief for some people that it should be at no cost to them and feel entitled to have what they want at another's expense!

Puzzled? Yes, I am.  I mean, what are those of you reading this, who don't want to pay for an online membership subscription, going to say to the bartender when they have provided the drink you wanted but wont let you have it for free, or cinema cashier when they won’t let you in for free….  Perhaps this would be perceived as different because its offline? Why? Aren’t they services?

Many people believe when you pay for a subscription you are investing in going out with people.  When you sign up for a totally free friendship site much of the time it is just about looking and ego boosting and many people there are not quite so serious in their search.

Would You Work Totally Free 9-5 For Someone Else?
Of course not!  Like all of us on the planet we all have to earn a living. The fact is that money makes the world go round and we all need money to survive and fulfil our needs.

Join and Create a Free Profile?
As with most similar sites anyone can join for free, it costs nothing to register and produce your ad, show your interests etc., and on some sites like NewFriends4U, you can take advantage of many free facilities not available elsewhere before deciding to subscribe.

3Things NewFriends4U Don't Do!
Similar services:
a) Have you received notification of a message from someone interested in you, you've logged on only to discover you can't see the member's profile, what they look like or anything about them unless you pay?
b) You have to register first before you carry out any basic search on the site, in my opinion this is a turn off, we don’t have to complete a form to go look around the shop first do we!
c) Automatic re-billing, in my opinion, this is another big turn off! I don’t know about you but I like to be in control of my own payment card!

We have worked incredibly hard and invested our time and money to achieve a service that provides our members with the opportunity of finding many new friends. Personally, I don't think it's unreasonable that we charge a fee. You want to be paid for doing your job, well, so do we!

Another free members quote which is a puzzler…

“I am going to miss your service!“

Why ‘miss our service?’, so these free members want the service provided them, but don’t want to contribute to the cost.  Why miss the service --- it works? I’ve no idea, so does anyone else?

Supermarket Chuckle
Whilst in the supermarket the other day I had to chuckle to myself when the cashier asked for my payment card, I felt like saying, I want all this food for free otherwise I’m going to miss shopping here!! – Of course the supermarket won’t miss me because they aren’t getting any business from the service they are providing me, so am sure they won’t mind me not shopping there and wasting their time in the first place!!  However, I have a choice, do I go hungry because they won’t give it to me for free! Members have a choice too; do our members really want to find online friendship or remain in the same situation they are already in?

Finally, in my view this is a simple case of the value a person puts on what they want to have or achieve in life and that choice is theirs to take. Clearly we are not depriving anyone the opportunity of finding new friends, simply because we ask people to support the work we do on their behalf.

Director
NewFriends4U.com