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|Page 1|Page 2|Page 3| There is a theory which states that there are only six degrees of separation between everybody on the planet. It goes along the lines that if you make a list of all the people you know or have ever met, and each of these people make their own list of everyone they have ever met, and those people make lists and so on, you will be no more than six contacts from any person on the planet. Whether this is true or not is hard to say, but this is borne out in a small way by those odd occurrences where you meet a complete stranger many miles from home, only to find out they know your cousins best friend (or something like that). Now as far as dating in the real world goes, this theory is useful because often you meet potential dates through work colleagues, friends, relatives and so on. There is some comfort in this, as there will be people from whom you can draw upon their experience about your intended date. Online Dating is different. You won't necessarily have this safety net of knowing someone who knows someone who knows your online date. This means that you are potentially more vulnerable. Now, I say ‘potentially’ because 99% of people using online dating services are normal people, just like you and me. However, I will not deny that there are some creepy weirdo's on the net (as in the real world), but the good news is that as more and more people get online and start using dating on the Internet, online dating will become more and more the norm, and those weirdo's will be more marginalised. In the mean time, the key to safe dating online is to be a little more careful than you usually would. Use the same good common sense and judgement when you meet someone online, as you would if you met them anywhere else, but perhaps be just a little more wary initially. Once you get to the first real meeting, you're back in the real world and hopefully it will be 'business as usual'. On most dating web sites, people can create quite detailed profiles about themselves. A quality profile has the advantage that it makes it much easier to find out about other peoples interests, vital statistics, and whether these people match your criteria. However, people sometimes embellish their details, so you can't assume that every one is completely honest in their profile, or when they e-mail you. Mostly it's harmless embellishment; just a case of telling a little fib about their weight, or how much hair they've got (as an apprentice slap head, I know only too well that temptation!, but it can become fraudulent at the extreme end of the scale. But then fraud happens in the real world too. Take the recent UK story of the married guy who was having difficulties with his marriage and thought his wife was going to leave him. He told her he'd won a little money on the lottery. Pretty soon he was pretending the amount was £9 million, and to keep up the pretence he started spending loads of the stuff. The bad news? He got caught and went to jail for fraud. The good news? Strangely enough, he saved his marriage! This illustrates that in real life people lie all the time, even in trusting relationships. Not always for bad reasons, but never the less people do it. Online, people also lie but with the disadvantage that you can't see them, so you can't see the usual body language that might give them away. Online you can hide your identity. Initially this might be a good approach until you get to know someone well enough to feel comfortable about divulging your true identity. Unfortunately, this advantage is a double edge sword because it means other people can hide their identity from you. Also, sooner or later you have to come clean if you want a relationship to continue off-line. My conclusion is that if people are dishonest enough to lie at all, they'll find a way of doing it whether on the Internet or not. There ain't nothing new in this world. So, let me answer the question 'Is Online Dating safe?'. The answer is that if you take a little care and if you need to, follow some of the rules outlined below, it's as safe as any other way of meeting people, with the advantage that your reach is extended from you locality to the whole world if you want! The Rules Like all aspects of society there are rules to follow, no go areas to avoid, and common sense approaches that steer you through life even when your not quite familiar with your surroundings. Dating on the Internet is no different. I think if you followed all these rules to the extreme, you would be paranoid. What the hell, fill yer boots! ...... |
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