A Weak Defence
I read a letter and reply in your column "Old
Sayings." The writer, Lauren, was considering telling the wife
of a man she had an affair with about his extramarital activities.
You encouraged her to tell.
I am baffled. You encourage a woman who is equally guilty to go and
possibly ruin a marriage. Tell me something. What happens if this
married couple has kids, how will it affect them? Do you know anything
about the wife? Maybe she is the root of the reason why this man seeks
other women.
So why encourage heartache and certain trauma? I have an old saying
for you as well: what you don't know, can't hurt you. Quite fitting
for the occasion don't you think?
Gregory
Gregory, we didn't receive a single letter from
an innocent party who wouldn't want to know if their spouse was unfaithful.
People who deal with reality seek to know when they are at risk, so
they can protect themselves from AIDS, herpes, paternity suits, and
the other consequences of betrayal.
A rock climber takes the risk of falling. A cheater takes the risk
of being caught. Rocks can't tell, but a spurned woman can.
You suggest ignorance is bliss, but it is not. It is ignorance. What
if the lump is malignant? You ignore the lump at your peril.
Not telling is not an option with a serial adulterer, and telling
won't ruin the marriage. Cheating will. Your final insult was to ignore
the adultery and blame the victim.
Wayne
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell
can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send
letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email:
DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Telling Wife Man She Had An Affair Marriage Relationship
Advice
|
