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A romantic relationship is an emotionally intimate
bond between two people. Such a relationship is best when it is with
someone who knows you, understands you, and accepts you. It is enhanced
through talking intimately about feelings, thoughts, and needs.
Sometimes when the qualities of a romantic relationship are not met,
one or both partners seek them outside the relationship in an affair.
An affair can be as exhilarating as it is destructive to the relationship.
When a person in a relationship feels the temptation to have an affair,
it's usually because the romance in the relationship has stopped being
important. Keep this thought in the back of your mind as you search
for ways to inject more romance into your relationship.
Make Your Relationship an Affair to Remember
When you think of an affair, what comes to mind? Passion? Romance?
Attachment to another person? That's exactly what an affair is; however,
the downside is that it is typically associated with a limited duration,
not to mention, causing a great deal of pain to your primary partner.
But, what if you could extend an affair and make it an everyday and
lifelong occasion with your partner? You can do it; it's just a matter
of decision.
The way to make this happen is to turn your relationship into an
affair. The first step to doing this is to know just exactly what needs
are met by an affair: feeling desired, being loved, feeling needed,
sexual fulfillment, being understood, close friendship, intellectual
stimulation, feeling complete, attachment, and being listened to.
Look over these characteristics and ask yourself which of these qualities
you provide for your partner. The ideal way to use this list is to sit
down with your partner and take turns putting this list in order of
which characteristics you feel the strongest, down to those you feel
the least.
When each of you has completed your list, compare notes with your
partner to see the order you put the characteristics in. Pay special
attention to the last few items because they will tellyou the areas
that you need to work on with your partner. The goal of this exercise
is to identify the areas that are holding you back from having an affair
with your partner.
You can do the same with your partner. Look at the feeling that he
put on the bottom of the ranking list. Then ask him what he needs that
would help him get a stronger sense of that feeling. You'll be surprised
at how this simple exercise will illuminate important feelings that
your partner has been experiencing. This exercise many times reveals
feelings that are new to both partners. When you are able to strengthen
your weak areas, your relationship will be the love affair you always
wanted.
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