"Why Real Men Prefer Larger Women"
Who was it who first said
that "thin is acceptable, fat is not"? No doubt some camp, pot-bellied
fashion designer or advertising guru who has helped to fuel insecurity
and self-abuse by propagating the idea that in order to be successful
and loved, you have to look undernourished.
Forget Jodie Kidd, "Sue Perwaif", "Ann Orexia" and all those other 10-foot
tall, 10 inch wide supermodels. Forget fashion spreads in magazines
featuring chisel-cheeked waifs who wouldn't look out of place in colony
of stick insects. Forget dieting, body wraps, pills, lotions and gruelling
exercise programmes. Why? Because there really are a lot of decent,
attractive and successful men out there who prefer larger women - even
those who don't care to admit it.
The reason why so many women still believe that men desire emaciated
women is because they have been brainwashed by the media into believing
that this is the shape they're supposed to find appealing. They play
along with this ideal because of its apparent status value. Some men
superficially believe that being seen with someone who represents the
current images spread across the glossies will automatically elevate
them to super stud ranking. Nevertheless, deep down, most of them would
prefer to snuggle up to a curvy, feminine woman.
David, 31, an Art Director from London agrees; "To say that only
women who are a size 10 or less are beautiful is a fallacy. I don't
find women who are too thin at all sexy. There's something strangely
unnatural about men who prefer women with boy-like physiques. To me,
there's nothing more beautiful than a woman with ample curves. Who wants
to cuddle up to a skeleton at night? I dated one girl who was totally
obsessive about her weight, despite my reassurances that she looked
far better with a 'bit of meat' on her. The relationship didn't last
because she was always too busy worrying about how she looked and ended
up spending more time in front of the mirror than she did with me!"
American Psychologist, Catrin Griffiths says, "We live in a society
obsessed by control, thinness and youth. Fatness is therefore regarded
as a loss of control and ultimate failure, particularly since men who
are status-driven feel the need to parade a partner who fits the current
ideal. Subconsciously, however, men are naturally drawn towards women
with rounded hips, which is a sign of their ability to carry and nurture
their offspring. The paradox is that today's women are striving for
independence and strength and yet the emaciated body type signifies
frailty, defencelessness and a need to be cared for."
If a woman is naturally petite and has not "forced" her shape and
size, then that is fine and she undoubtedly looks her best when she
is a size 8 or 10. However, what looks unnatural is a tall woman, who
would naturally be a size 16, diets obsessionally and ends up looking
unhealthily emaciated, with bones sticking out from every angle. Take
Gerri Halliwell as an example. When she first left the Spice Girls and
removed the heavy makeup, she was the epitome of a beautiful woman,
not least because she was still sporting feminine curves. However, since
embarking on a gruelling exercise, diet and tanning regime, she has
assumed the appearance of a sinewy, overcooked chicken.
Michael, 28, a web designer from Edinburgh had this to say; "If thin
and shapeless is desirable, then why do so many women opt for breast
enlargement? Yes, because most men prefer shapely women, yet what a
lot of these women fail to grasp is that large breasts do not naturally
fit a thin body. If a large bust is considered attractive, doesn't it
follow that larger proportions overall are appealing?"
"There's nothing attractive about a chest that so obviously looks
false," says Darren, 28, a procurement manager from Swindon. "Any bloke
who finds breast implants attractive, would be better off nestling up
to a lump of silicone at night, because that's all he's in love with,
not the woman herself. Besides, abnormally spherical silicone breasts
attached to the front of a matchstick physique look odd. Being a woman
is not just about having breasts, it means being blessed with the well-rounded,
childbearing buttocks that men find so attractive and possessing all
those other little quirks and personality traits that make a woman what
she is.
As Rob, 36, a Royal Air Force pilot points out, "There's nothing
more off-putting than taking a woman out to a nice restaurant and then
watching her pick at her food all night, especially when I want to tuck
into my food without feeling guilty about the fact that I actually enjoy
eating. Generally, if a woman enjoys her food, it's a sign that she
has a good appetite for other things!"
Women were never designed to have figures like adolescent boys, donning
androgynous attire, making statements about equality and indirectly
expressing the fear of being labelled 'feminine'. If women were designed
to look like men, Mother Nature would have made the human race hermaphrodites
who reproduced asexually.
Top marks go to larger than average celebrities, such as Nigella
Lawson and Dawn French for example, who are comfortable with their size
and who refuse conform to, what the media regard as, the ideal shape
or, more accurately, non-shape. Both Nigella Lawson and Dawn French
are voluptuous, outgoing, funny and amazingly beautiful women. And their
confidence with their body image is what makes them both incredibly
sexy.
James, 26, a Software Engineer from Reading says, "I'm not saying
that big women aren't concerned about their appearance, but they are
not totally consumed like a lot of model look-a-likes are. Larger women
focus more on their personalities and emanate a quality that says, 'Hey,
I'm fun to be with, I know how to enjoy life', as opposed to their thin
counterparts who are often afraid to let themselves go in case they
put a hair out of place. There's something so unbelievably sexy about
a voluptuous woman with a larger than life personality. Given the choice
of Kate Moss or Kate Winslett, I'd choose Kate Winslett any day."
Besides, what woman in their right mind would want to be involved
with someone as superficial as the fat-prejudiced guy who said, "You
can't walk a personality down the street"? How could you possibly feel
secure in a relationship that revolved totally around your body image?
And of course, you can walk a personality down the street. People with
a personality exude an aura without having to open their mouths and
without being 3 inches wide. The guy who disputes that probably has
less personality than a stuffed rat.
I believe that the real message here is to learn to accept your body
the way that it is and not to go against the shape that Mother Nature
intended. After all, whatever your shape and size, everyone has the
potential to be attractive and desirable.
Contributed by:
Jan Andersen
©2000 Jan Andersen
About the Author: Jan has worked in marketing and
PR environments for 21 years, she felt that her writing talents, combined
with her psychology expertise, could be better utilised by establishing
herself as a freelance writer. Jane now works from home in Swindon,
England, undertaking a wide variety of commercial projects for a broad
spectrum of audiences and helping to maximise the potential of many
companies and media outlets. In addition to commercial copy, Jane has
contributed articles, features and columns to hundreds of magazines,
books, newsletters, newspapers and ezines and have participated in numerous
TV and radio programmes. Jan can be contacted at: worldwriteruk@hotmail.com
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